I realise that that's a strange enough opening line in itself, but I've had this really abnormal habit for as long as I can remember. It's like an inability to look at the actual time.
Weirder still, all my "household" clocks are correct (boiler, TV, oven, microwave, laptop), but my "personal" clocks are way out of sync.
My BlackBerry is set fourty five minutes fast.
My car is set thirty minutes fast.
My watch runs around twenty two minutes fast.
My bedside clock runs nine to ten minutes fast.
I have no idea what started this off, or why I ever developed such a strange habit. People have commented on it so often that I actually feel embarrassed about it and do not volunteer the information willingly. It's always a discovery.
"Hang on... Is that fast?"
"Er.. yeah. A bit..."
"How fast exactly?"
"Er... twenty two minutes... ish..."
".... Why?"
"Er... I'm not sure."
*Silence*
Yeah, it's never a comfortable conversation. Eyebrows are raised, blank looks of confusion are cast, I look like a twat and all I have to offer in way of an explanation is a shrug followed by a swift change of subject. I'm sure that that does nothing for my credentials.
Well, it's time to end the madness! From tonight, I am determined to right the wrongs of time, and set my clocks back to reality!
The thought of looking at my phone and seeing real-time is actually making me feel quite serene. It's as though I'm introducing a sense of calm and acceptance of time into my life, for the first time in years.
I don't know what that's about, or what it means (I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day assessing me) but I'm kind of looking forward to it.
My only slight hesitance is my alarm going off tomorrow morning. I use my phone to wake me up, so let's just hope that I don't look at it in the morning, immediately jump fourty five minutes back in my mind (as I usually do) and set it to snooze.
This is like changing a habit of a life time.
So fingers crossed it doesn't come back and bite me on the arse!
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