Gotcha!

I consider it a real achievement to have spent almost every week for an entire year with a group of people who I can guarantee don't know me at all.

I've managed to keep my business to myself and my personal life private whilst portraying quite an openess and willingness to divulge information. Do you know how difficult that is?

I suppose it's considered normal to discuss your life with the people you work with, but I don't consider it imperative. I prefer to figure out peoples' motives before baring my soul, which is why I haven't shared a single thing.

I think most of them assume that they have me worked out, that they know the kind of person that I am, how I live my life and what I do with my time - and they wouldn't be wrong! They do know all of the above. But none of it is actually real. It's only what I've chosen to say.

When they've asked questions, I've dutifully answered them. What am I supposed to do? Just stare back and say nothing? Better to formulate some kind of picture than give them a blank page.

They "know" what I do at the weekend, they "know" who I spend my time with, they "know" that I'm always single, they "know" that I'm always skint.

They don't "know" anything, because none of it's true.

At least I've given them something to bitch about. I know that their negative opinions outweigh any positive they may have of me, but I'm happy with that seeing as their opinions are based on fiction.

I don't feel guilty for deceiving them, and I'm sure not one of them is remotely bothered about whether they know me or not - it was to do with keeping my distance, and I've successfully done so.

I take a while to trust people. When I do, I'll share anything with them and will do anything for them.

If I don't, I never will.

So, I guess I didn't.